In an arena as vast as the self-improvement field it is difficult to determine who has the right answers. It is fair to say that there are plenty of answers out there. Thousands of ideas and concepts have been put forth for you to choose from. There is, however, one subject that has never really been discussed; a subject referred to as “additives.”
Certainly one’s fixed or stuck ideas, beliefs, and decisions, things that a person would most probably be better off without, are additive to the basic individual. But when we talk about additives, we are primarily referring to the explanations that people take on when they are hurting and searching for answers to explain their unwanted personal conditions. These explanations usually produce only a temporary relief, but because they had some workability, even if that workability was short-term, the individual holds on to them. The person still has the condition but also now has the explanation, which adds on to that condition.
The primary source of additives for a person in these circumstances is the person themself. The amount of garbage people can heap on themselves trying to figure out what is wrong can be staggering. Our own responses to the questions we ask ourselves, such as “What’s wrong with me?” and “Why do I do that?” can be a source of continual misery. Most of the answers we come up with are only speculative; derived from our thinking rather than from our looking. The liability of self-inquiry is getting stuck with a speculative answer or explanation.
Unable to resolve issues on their own, people turn to others for assistance, hoping to get the answers from someone else. A foray into the fields of therapy and self-improvement will provide one with an almost unlimited supply of theories to explain their conditions. It is a common notion that a person suffering from some unwanted personal condition is vulnerable, and therefore easy prey for charlatans. But when people are suffering, they are susceptible to something far more insidious than con men. People who are suffering are prone to taking on additives.
Whether correct or incorrect, explanations need only to be accepted to provide one with temporary relief. For example, Jim goes to a psychic and says, “Why do I feel mentally exhausted all the time?” The psychic explains, “When you fall asleep at night aliens are beaming rays into your head that weaken you.” Jim thinks to himself, “I do feel unusually lethargic in the morning. Yeah, that makes sense!” Jim may feel better as the answer explains his condition to him; but he still has the condition.
Here’s another example: Jane has a low self-image. She buys a book, “How to Improve Your Self-Esteem.” The author writes, “The reason you have low self-esteem is because of ideas that your parents foisted on you when you were young.” Jane thinks to herself, “My father did tell me that I was worthless. Yeah, that makes sense!” It may be that her father telling her that she was worthless is connected to the low self-image, and her spotting this probably contributed to her improvement, but since there is more to be looked at before she can entirely let go of the condition, her relief is short-lived. Jane feels better for the rest of the day but the following day, when her boss yells at her, she falls back into the same old condition of low self-esteem.
Some may argue that at least the person felt better for a while. And if that is all there is to it, there is no problem. But because of the “feeling betters,” people tend to hold on to, defend, and live their lives by the explanations that seemingly created those results, without ever examining those explanations again. In these circumstances people still have the condition but they also now have something they didn’t have before: the explanation which is now connected to that condition – additive to that condition.
If you have ever spoken with someone who had spent years in therapy, you might find that they could sit and talk with you for hours, explaining all the reasons why they have the conditions they do while still being plagued by those same unwanted conditions. What you were listening to were additives.
People seem to gravitate to and even crave additives. What is at the foundation of the problem has become desired in the solution. For this reason, professionals in the fields of self-improvement and therapy who sell the most explanations and answers will probably be the most prosperous. Ironically, these people are being rewarded for providing more chances for their clients to take on additives. But such people wouldn’t be in business if they didn’t fulfill some demand. In this case the demand is for answers and explanations.
There is a philosophy that has been around for ages that has been given lots of lip service but very little application: that people are unique and different, and that the answers they seek about themselves are within them. Most people would probably agree with this philosophy. Yet wherever we look for help, people have answers for you. But if you are unique and different and the answers that you seek about yourself are within you, how would someone else have your answers?
If the answers are within the individual, then it is only a matter of that person being able to access those answers. We as practitioners are facilitators in this process, assisting people to access what they have previously been unable to see. The questions and techniques used to accomplish this, including the concepts that these processes are based on, are the tools of the practitioner. We refer to these tools as the “mechanics” of the subject. But in order for practitioners to understand the real scope of these mechanics they must fully comprehend the non-evaluative application. And only by applying these mechanics with this application will a practitioner’s clients experience the true magic of this methodology and receive the full benefits.
We strive to provide as little opportunity for people to accumulate additives as possible, an activity which translates into non-judgmental application. A person would have no hope of understanding the application without first fully grasping the concept of additives; a concept that is quite far-reaching. Let me give you an example: A lot of importance has been put on a client’s trusting the practitioner. I certainly agree that it is important for the client to trust the practitioner, but just as important, if not more important, is that the practitioner trusts the client. We completely trust our clients to have all of the information we will ever need to resolve any of their issues. Who else would have this data? No one else lived their lives, had their experiences, or could know how this other individual responded at a time of confusion. This information may not be at a client’s fingertips, but together we can usually get it.
People find it hard to imagine how it is possible to so quickly resolve issues that have been bothering them for years and through so many previous systems and methods. Here are some observations: people are not as screwed up as they have believed or others would have had them believe. Most can do this work quite easily if we don’t get in their way. And what I mean by “don’t get in their way” is not giving judgments, evaluations, suggestions, opinions or advice – all of which, for the most part, only provide a person with more opportunities to accrue additives.
We trust our clients, believe our clients, and respect their uniqueness and self-determinism. We put the integrity of what we are doing above our own desires for expansion and financial success.
Whether you come for services or not I hope that what has been said about additives will be of some assistance to you.